The mother of the bride gets a bad rap, often associated with being demanding and controlling when it comes to the wedding planning. Of course, most mothers aren’t really like this, but out of a desire to make sure everything is perfect for their daughter’s special day, sometimes even the kindest and most patient mums can get frustrated and frazzled, losing sight of what’s important along the way.
To avoid falling into domineering territory and make sure you’re the best mother of the bride you can be, there are some key things you can do. Make the experience as enjoyable as possible by keeping the following tips in mind:
- Be considerate
If you feel yourself getting frustrated over a disagreement or you’re desperate to make changes to the wedding plans, take a moment to collect your thoughts. Are your words or actions coming from a place of support, and will they genuinely have a positive impact? If you think you’re likely to cause upset by something you’re about to say or do, take a step back and consider letting this one go. Ultimately, decisions about the wedding are down to the bride and groom, and the most helpful thing you can do is support your daughter at such an important time.
- Remember it’s not your wedding
The most important thing you can remind yourself leading up to the wedding is that this is your daughter’s day, not yours. As the bride’s mother your opinions are valued and your advice is appreciated, but if you’re standing in the way of your daughter’s dream day, you’re only going to make her feel invalidated and unhappy.
- Be happy to share in decisions
The mother of the bride has a key part to play in all things wedding related, but there are others who will be involved in making decisions, too. Your daughter’s partner, friends, bridesmaids and future mother-in-law will likely all be involved at some point or other, so you’ll have to be willing to gracefully share in the decision-making process.
- Dress appropriately
You’ll want to look and feel amazing on your daughter’s big day, but it’s vital to choose an outfit that is appropriate for the venue and style of wedding. Listen to any advice your daughter provides regarding the colour and style of your dress so you can shop for something that complements the wedding’s theme and looks great in the photographs.
Consider shopping at an independent boutique to find the perfect dress for the occasion. A mother of the bride dress from Bombshell would be a great choice, with their ultra-flattering silhouettes and a variety of colours and styles to choose from.
Communication is key so that both you and your daughter can enjoy the process and treasure the memories of this special occasion for years to come. With tensions running high it’s all too easy to get emotional, but it’s important to communicate these feelings with your child and listen to what she has to say in return. This will help you understand why she feels differently and better equip you to support her decisions going forward.
- Provide support
Planning a wedding is stressful and sometimes your daughter may require nothing more from you than words of love and support. As a mother, you have a lot of wisdom and experience to impart, but you must be aware of when this is wanted and when it would be more helpful to take a back seat and simply let her know you’re there for whatever she needs.